Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
