I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
