Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
