Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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