got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize