i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
