She's JV to your varsity
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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