she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
