I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
