quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
