Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
