I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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