How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
