How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize