The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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