ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
