I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
this boner is exhausting
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
