xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
