yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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