so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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