OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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