The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
