I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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