K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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