I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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