i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
