all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
