How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
