i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
