but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
