YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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