i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize