everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
