he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
