It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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