Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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