He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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