you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
