ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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