I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
