Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
