Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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