I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
