I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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