i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
