What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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