we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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