Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
