I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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