Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just saw a hot homeless man
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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