you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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