we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
