Nicole vs. Life
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
