You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
