he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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