Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize