Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Alive.
So much puke
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
