I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
