why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i will never coherently bang her
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
